10 Accomplishments For Your 20s

I am in my mid 20’s and following a very non-traditional career path since I’m in the Peace Corps and living in Nicaragua. Watching my friend’s move on and build careers through distant social media has shown me a few things. Which is why I am writing this. Somehow, some way, we have been pressured to believe we have to have our entire life together by 21. I just want to encourage everyone struggling with debt, still living with their parents, unable to go to grad school and doesn’t have a spouse or children: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
I don’t know where we get this from but I felt it too. I have felt at one time or another that I was not enough. This feeling that I haven’t accomplished enough. I still have debt. I haven’t attended grad school and when I am home, I live with my parents. I am in my twenties and although I’ve accomplished way more than the average 20-year-old, I’m saying you’re normal if you haven’t accomplished anything at all. I am not saying don’t have aspirations. You need to have dreams. But you are not somehow less than for not accomplishing what others have in their 40s. Here is what you need to accomplish in your twenties.

1. Grow up.

We think we’re grown in college but after that, the real adulting begins. You need to mature and accept your fate. Yes, the time has come. That means paying all fees and tickets you receive. Unless you’re unemployed, it’s not ok to ask your parents for money all the time. Handle your business. No more late night parties and out of control drinking. Get to work on time. Dress appropriately and act like you want your job.  Be mindful of what you post on social media and for once take your parents advice.

2. Know and accept your responsibilities.

It’s your responsibility to know what is in your checking and savings account. It’s your responsibility to check weekly and not overdraft. It is your responsibility to prioritize the phone bill over the weekly unnecessary splurges (i.e., Starbucks, fast food, etc.). It’s your responsibility to prioritize and start thinking about other things like not related to drama.

3. Contribute.

If you live with your parents, wash some dishes, cook dinner every now and then. If you live with roommates, make an effort to get to know them. If you are good friends, talk about ways to help each other reach your dreams. Make a pact to collectively reduce debt or spend less for the month.

4. Make an effort.

 

Set small goals and strive to accomplish them. Build your resume. If you can’t find a job, volunteer somewhere for experience in your industry. Don’t just sit bitterly on the couch. Go out and visit the places you’re applying to, ask what specific skills they’re looking for. Introduce yourself and let them know you’re applying online. Show up to the interview in actual professional attire.

5. Ask for help.

 

Don’t beg but humble yourself enough to sit under someone else for wisdom. Take advantage of what the adults in your life have to offer. Whether it’s taking a job you don’t necessarily want or interning, ask for help. If you’re really behind on a bill, don’t be ashamed to ask for a small loan.

6. Love yourself.

 

Don’t be bitter towards all those being lovey-dovey pictures on social media. Understand that there is more to everybody’s relationship than what meets social media’s eye. Your special someone is out there waiting for you to become a person ready for a relationship. Instead of being jealous, build on yourself. Are you someone worth loving? Until you are, don’t worry about everybody else’s relationship. They might not be together in a year, but you will still have yourself in a year.

7. Social media is not life.

 

Do you post your burnt dinners, failed exams or boring days of work on social media? No. Neither does everyone else. Social media is everyone’s highlight reels. Don’t compare your down to someone’s publicised high. We’re all just trying to make a way for ourselves and have a better tomorrow. Focus on yourself and you’ll be amazed how much happier you’ll be.

8. Build.

 

Build your portfolio. Build your skill set and your network. It’s not always what you know. It’s also who you know. Go to meetups. Attend local events in your community. Ask your friends for suggestions, just get our of your comfort zone.

9. Make mistakes.

 

Travel. Splurge but remember to save. Learn a new language. Get lost and free yourself to make mistakes. It’s never a loss if it’s a lesson. Failure is life’s way of saying, maybe another time. “Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be” – John Wooden

10. Connect.

 

Make friends you want for a lifetime. Take time to love your family. They will not always be here and figure out what you really want from life. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t stress about your life in 10 years.

Don’t worry about what they say. Just accomplish these 10 things and you’ll do your 20s right.

Extended Hand to Any Rape Victim

To the woman who woke up and realized she had to be strong, I want you to know you are not alone. I cannot imagine how it felt to wake up and know something had been done to you but not knowing just quite the extent of the damage done. I can, however, with clear accuracy imagine how it feels to be raped and then misunderstood. I know what it’s like to be so spiritually broken because you cannot understand how physically you are still standing. I understand violation and I understand the monster that is rape culture. I just want to tell you I am so sorry this happened to you. I am so sorry that in this day and age, men are still being held at a lower standard than women. I am so sorry that you had to be belittled to numerical facts such as your weight, age and how much you drank. I am sorry that those things are even relevant to clearly judge what violation of a human being is. I am so sorry that you had to find out via the internet and that your life has been publicized for something so ugly but please know:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Please know that we are here. We – the women silenced by the very same heinous act. The women who acknowledge what it feels to be broken and what it means to survive. The women who carry the shame every day and have to constantly remind themselves that it was not their fault. Please hear me, no matter what they say (they being the ignorant, misogynistic, unfeeling, uncaring, soulless trolls and inhumane beings on the internet): it is not, was not and will never be your fault. It wasn’t about what you wore. It wasn’t about what you drank. It was about this human being who took advantage of an unconscious woman and tried to get away with it. That is and will always be defined as rape.

That guy, he doesn’t even deserved to be spoken to by a goddess like you and yet you were strong enough to not only speak your truth but make sure the public clearly heard it too. I am proud of you and I stand with you. You stood strong for every girl, like me, who didn’t report, didn’t take a test or tell anyone outside of my family for fear of shame, stigma, and not being believed. You ended your letter by saying, “To girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought every day for you. So never stop fighting. I believe you.” Thank you. You are a testament to how much work still needs to be done. Your letter was beautiful and your heart is courageously golden. I am in awe of you and I hope you never have to feel such pain again. I pray every day forward from now is filled with pure joy. You deserve that. You deserve to dance. You deserve to be carefree and you deserve justice. I hope you get that too. They have labeled you a rape victim and I see how truly victorious you have become.

For anyone else reading this, please sign this petition. 6 months is a great way to continue telling women their bodies are worth nothing. If you know the strong young lady I am addressing, will you please pass on my letter and give her a hug. Don’t stare and don’t you dare ask her “so you really can’t remember?” No one should ever have to feel public humiliation bearing shame for something someone did to them. If you don’t understand consent, watch this video.

Photosource: http://www.goabroad.com/blog/2014/08/26/20-quotes-20-inspiring-women-around-world/

Day 404

This is a story about Black Nicaraguans and the love I found amongst them. I went to visit Bluefields and Pearl Lagoon, Nicaragua. It is where the “black” people live. I have to say this trip changed my life. I found that their history was very similar to our own. They were initially shipwrecked on the coast of Nicaragua. At that time, it wasn’t a part of Nicaragua. The indigenous people became a British colony. Then the British shipped slaves over from West Africa. When slavery was outlawed in 1840, the slaves became workers and it’s how you get the diverse looks of the people. Some are very dark and have wide noses with afros. Others are light skinned and have big, wide curls, not kinky at all. They are as colorful as you would expect black people to be. When Nicaragua conquered and claimed the land, they were unable to get through the dense jungle and essentially they were spared from the first war of Somoza. But after the war was won by the Sandinistas, there was another smaller war fought to conquer the Coast. The people will tell you they believe it had nothing to do with the land and everything to do with killing all blacks. Finally, a peace treaty was written, allowing the land to be autonomous. However, despite their autonomism, their representatives are Managuan (Spanish) and the government has mandated they teach in Spanish. They are not given the rights they were promised in the treaty. Now, Bluefields is almost entirely Spanish. Everyone speaks Spanish and it’s only about 30% blacks. However, 45 minutes south in Pearl Lagoon, it is 90% black and only 1% speak Spanish. I only spent two days in Bluefields which left me to spend 6 days in Pearl Lagoon.

I have been on a pursuit to study Universal Blackness. Most often, the black perspective is told from an African American lens. But I am sure that being black in America is entirely different than being Black in France than being black in Nicaragua. My trip was enlightening. I was excited to see people who looked like me. I was excited to find grape flavored everything. The rest of Nicaragua seems to have no appreciation for grape although, in my opinion, grape is the best juice and the best soda. I had coconut bread, soda cake and piko. I ate fried chicken for almost the entire week I was there. I was embraced entirely. People spoke creole to me and I tried to understand. I had my hair braided there. (Which is a foreign concept in other parts of Nicaragua. They think my braids are pretty but foreign. They want to touch them.) I wore my afro and no one stared. It was wonderful. I heard my music. While waiting for a boat, Cece Winans played! It warmed my heart to see little brown girls with afro puffs and wearing clocker balls in their hair. I never knew how much I missed those things until I saw it. While I found many differences, I found that a universal blackness does not exist. However, it seems that there is a universal attempt to silence blackness. When I spoke with community leaders, they complained of their history being erased and being forced to speak in Spanish, not their own tongue Creole and the English. It sounded a lot like what I feel when I hear that slavery is being taken out of the history books and how I feel lost when I try to think of my lineage and my history past my great grandparents. It was sad. It both warmed and broke my heart. I could talk for hours on my trip and everything I learned there, but for this email, I will stop while I am ahead.

God knew what He was doing when I was assigned a different site. I don’t think my service would have been as fulfilling if I was living there. For one, I wouldn’t have learned Spanish. For two, I wouldn’t have been able to teach people what it’s like to be an American. They thought I was one of them. However, I am so glad to have had the opportunity to visit there and speak with the people. I was able to see the discrimination between black Nicaraguans and the Spanish looking ones. It appears that wherever there is colonialism, there is colorism. Black Nicaraguans are definitely discriminated against and they hate traveling away from the Coast. When they do, people make inappropriate comments and stare. I have personally felt this awkwardness. It is not always like that. My own community has accepted me. First, they didn’t want to believe I was an American. They kept telling me I was from the coast, in part because I am black and in part because my Spanish is so bad. (Coastians prefer to speak Creole or English.) But then I showed them pictures and told them about my family. But I have heard people call me “negrita” – little black girl and they love to touch my hair. My first host family tried to shame me into straightening my afro. Not everyone is bad, there is always good to be found where people work hard to love. Love is the deciding factor. Love changes things.

If you ever want to come to Nicaragua, the Coast would be top 5 to see!

Oven Building

This month, in the Adventures of Janae, I built an oven.. wait for it… FROM SCRATCH! Yep, sure did. Oven building is a project we often do in rural areas to help prevent smoke inhalation. Women are expected to be the sole cookers and usually families who can’t afford gas use wood. That’s dangerous in a small room and as a result rural women die early from smoke inhalation. The oven is built outside and it’s more efficient in wood burning. You build it using, horse manure, dirt, a sticky glue mixture made from soaking dragon fruit leaves in water, clay bricks, and one large barrel.

The process is as follows:

-dragonfruit leaves, soaked for two days in water is used as glue, mixed with a little water, horse manure and dirt.

-Bricks are cut into the necessary size and often times clay bricks break

-a base of two layers of bricks are built first and it must be level

We had the additional obstacle of building on a hill. The women we worked with lived in a very rural area and were unable to get proper notification. So they had to scrape the glue material from the leaves by hand.

It was messy and hard. You have to use a leveler for every brick laid. Often times we had to cut the bricks with a machete to get the right fit. The dirt mixture smells a bit, but only when it’s wet and the sun is disrespectful in Boaco, Nicaragua. Still, the people were overjoyed to have an oven. A cooperation of three families will be using to sell bread in their small community. This oven is literally a means to have money to put food on the table. It’s great to know, one small oven changed these women’s lives.

Semana Santa

During Holy Week or Semana Santa in Spanish, Christian cultures like the one in Nicaragua commemorate the death and resurrection of Jesus. Since pretty much the entire country is religious, Holy Week is a nationally recognized holiday! It’s hard for me not to overwork myself but aside from one small conquest to see a famous man in my department, I mostly read.

My small vacation consisted of me visiting The Natural Reserve Tisey Estanzuela and meeting Alberto Gutierrez, also known as the Stone Man, in his beautiful home deep in the Tisey Estanzuela Natural Reserve. He is 76 years young and has been carving stones on his land for over 40 years. He lives on rural land and it’s a bit of a hike but meeting him is half the fun. Not only does he show you his humble home but he makes you sign his book. Only about 1,000 people have met him. He loves taking pictures and showing what historical moments he’s commemorated in stone. Among the birth of Jesus Christ, 9/11 and many cities in Nicaragua. The view was spectacular. You could tell just how much Alberto loved his piece of Nicaragua and the stories it told. His attention to detail was apparent in the fruits, flowers and animals he pointed out at different times during the tour. Despite all the stones he already has, he continues to find mew places to carve drawings and inviting all who will listen to hear his stories.

How to Integrate

I’m one year in this thing! Three hundred sixty-five days in Nicaragua and it feels great!IMG_0733

I figured I’d share some insight on how to integrate (since I’ve clearly been doing it, and doing it and sometimes doing it well).

How to Integrate
NUMERO 1. Talk to everyone and I do mean everyone. Your host family, the street dog. The drunk men on the corner (you can always say adios.) Your fellow PCVS, your counterparts, your host niece. EVERYONE. If not to improve your language, then to learn yourself something.
2. Play with children. Children are God’s way of laughing at and with us. Sometimes it will be awkward and other times your spirit animal will roar.
3. See the world from another person’s perspective. Self. Explanatory.
4. Consider the merit of different values. Again. Self-explanatory. This is your time to think outside your own self-constructed box. Question your values and where they came from.
5.Listen. I have heard birds I never knew exists, music I love and can sing along to without knowing the artist. I have heard roosters, buenas, bachata, babies crying and hissing to tell me how beautiful I am.
6. Try. Don’t say you can’t before you even try. Effort can take you a long way.
7. Ask. How can I help the community? How can I meet more people? Will you introduce me to your friends? I’d like to go to the next birthday party?
8. Say yes. When someone ask’s for help, say yes. When someone invites you to a party, say yes. When someone’s asks do you want to learn how to milk a cow, say yes. Keep on saying yes.
9. Teach. Teach your culture, your language and ways and others will readily share theirs.
10. Never assume. There’s always some part that we don’t understand, whether it be the language, the culture, or the people.

Incorporate these tips into your daily lifestyle and no matter where you are, you’ll integrate! Go forth dear reader and be great. Get to know your neighbors and try one of these tips a day. Just one, I’m not asking for much.

Nica Taught Me Podcast

This has been a long time coming. I came up with the idea to record a podcast interviewing Nicaraguans who spoke English, talking about my experiences and sharing a few Nicaisms when I first came into Peace Corps. I was a newbie, excited about everything and over-enthusiastic. I made a few episodes, but not many and now in my final year of service, I don’t have much time to make many more. Still, I want the few I made to be heard. Give it a listen! 🙂 Here is the first episode of Nica Taught Me podcast. Hope you like it!

10 Reasons You Should Do the Peace Corps

I remember, before turning in my Peace Corps application, the hours I spent googling, “why should I do the Peace Corps” or “reasons to do the Peace Corps.” I have to say, in the time I applied and have been a year in Nicaragua, the search results haven’t changed that much. Even googling the most positive words, the majority of the words were reasons to NOT join the Peace Corps. As usual, I felt the need to rectify that. I asked my fellow volunteers, “what reasons would you cite to tell someone to join the Peace Corps?” I summed it up to this nice list.

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PCV Liz Tarshis

Volunteer Profile 

Liz Tarshis

Age: 23

Sector: Small Business Development 65

Educational background: Bachelors in Economics and Sociology/ Global Studies and Social Justice and a Minor in General Psychology (I know it’s a mouth full) from Bridgewater State University

Hometown: Born and raised in Newtown, CT

Fun fact: Although the chisme (gossip) about this has already circulated around some of the PCV community, I have a tattoo of E=MC2 on my inner lip. I got it when I was 17, I was a big Einstein fan at the time.

It’s been awhile since I posted a PCV interview. I have been wanting to do more, however, PCVs are busier than you’d imagine. Nonetheless, I’ll post them as they come. Liz Tarshis is one of the few volunteers, I assumed was in the health sector when I first met her. It’s hard for me to remember she’s a small business volunteer. She reminds me of a European goddess, tall, and ethereal features and I like how poised she is, no matter the situation. We call her Tarsh because there are three volunteers named Liz in our group. So get into Tarsh!

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Fuego Y Agua

Saturday, February 6, 2016. Day 340 (OMG OMG so close to one year!)  I signed up for a 25K hosted by Fuego Y Agua! They offer 25 K, 50 K, 100 K and a survival run. They also aren’t exclusively in Nicaragua. Always open to travel and experience new things, I decided to sign up and kill 2 birds with one stone. Up until this point, I had never been to Ometepe and had never participated in a marathon. It has always been on my bucket list. I traveled 8 hours and an hour boat ride (including sea sickness) to the island of Ometepe. The race was on Playa Santo Domingo on Isla de Ometepe, Nicaragua. Although advertised as a 25 K race, they later informed us it was actually 33 K race. Up until the race, I had no formal training. I used the walk to one of my rural schools as a gauge. My school is 8K one way and I was able to do the 16 K walking in 2 hours. So I felt a 25 K would be a challenge but doable. The day before the race, receiving the information about the additional 13 K was a big scary but there was nothing I could do. On the day of the race, I started with two other volunteers with me. One volunteer and I had agreed to walk the entire thing. The other volunteer said she would run a bit. We lined up under the Gatorade advertised start/finish line and raised our right hand as dictated by the announcer then repeated something I can’t remember that ended with, “and if I get lost, it’s my own damn fault.”

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