I woke up to 10 birds flying in my room.
Let me first, preference this story by stating a fact: I am legally blind. Without the aid of glasses or contacts, I cannot see words past the tip of my nose. I wish I was exaggerating but I’m not. I really cannot see. So when I open my eyes in the morning, I can only just make out blurry colors. Thankfully, light helps. So I can see better during day break. At night, it’s pretty bad. Even squinting can’t help at night, this the reason I’m only allowed to drive with glasses. So this morning, when I opened my eyes and saw light color orbs moving around my room, I thought it was light reflections from something outside of my room. I did hear chirping, but this is Nicaragua. I always hear birds chirping. My family owns birds. Birds sit on my roof or my window ledge and have at it all day. But what tipped me off was when a colored orb flew a little too close to my bed and I saw it was darker than a sun reflection could ever be. My first thought, “that can’t be a bird” two seconds later, after putting on my glasses, I screamed in fear. It wasn’t A bird. There were BIRDS. I am not exaggerating! They were ten birds flying around my room. Immediately, I jumped up and told my host dad. He and his wife grabbed a broom and made a lot of noise to make them go away. The idea that birds can fly in an tsunami like formation at you or dive bomb is not made up! It’s true and terrifying! With my glasses on, I could see dirt clods all over my floor from their reindeer play AND… poop! They pooped in my room! Thank God for my mosquitera or I’d have bird poop in my bed!
Let me be very clear. I can take a lot of things. I moved to Nicaragua for goodness sake. Two days ago, there were two bats in my room. I handled that fairly well. And when presented with a cockroach, my bottle of Raid prevailed. But at least bats are blind and when they heard me, they exited stage left. BUT THIS IS ANOTHER LEVEL OF TRAVESTY THAT I WILL NOT STAND FOR! Birds! Birds?! In my home. No sir, no ma’am. So this is a call. I need an answer. We need a resolution. Here are photos of my roof. Anyone, living in Nicaragua, the States, man, woman or child, I beg of you to give me an idea on how to close these roof slots off. I WILL find a ladder to get up there if someone tells me what to do. I don’t think my heart can take another bird attack.
PS I have decided to call my mosquitera “Old Faithful” from now on. Clearly, it’s the only thing standing between me and a very poopy awakening.