Category Archives: Poetry

A Word to My Ex Chronicles

Today is the day! The start of a Word to My Ex Chronicles. Let’s get right to it. Let me know if this speaks to you in the comments below. PS. This is series is not a man bashing session. This is me sharing my heart and experiences. I have experienced heartbreak but I have experienced love too.

A Word to My Ex Chronicles
I would never give myself the 
satisfaction of fully articulating how deeply you hurt me 
for fear you will feel 
exactly how bad you made me feel
l don’t want to hurt you back
I never
wanted to hurt you
I’ve always wanted to 
love you 
I always wanted to be
yours
I always wanted to be
your girl
and I never took consideration of anything else
delusion made me see past
her
fantasy made me see a space for me
when there was none
and your daughter was just a bow on our present
there was nothing
anointed by God
I took Him in 
my life and placed Him in ours
Maybe if I had listened He wouldn’t have
forced me to learn such a lesson as this
I cannot force my puzzle piece where it does not belong
maybe you were supposed to 
hurt me
maybe cutting me down to nothing was
worth it
because I will definitely
never do anything like you again
the memories
run through my mind,
a kaleidoscope of
hope, heartbreak and exasperation
realizing how
happy you made me 
only to turn around a
reject me publicly
no one should live in
extremes
I
was never meant to be a side
I was
never comfortable with it 
wanting to stop the hurt but being unable to stop the love for you was my only fault
running as fast as i could away from you only to 
snap back like a rubber band rebounding on you harder than before 
until I
broke the cord
unhooked myself
from you and gave it to God


A Word to My Ex Chronicles

Ya’ll know what to do. Read it. Love it. Comment.
A Word to My Ex Chronicles
Please don’t get me the satisfaction of
convincing me when you care
WHEN YOU DON’T
Let’s
not mince words,
Let’s
not be two ships passing in the night 
Let’s save
the fights
I r
efuse the back and forth via TEXT
Don’t
allude to chilling and Netflix
Just say you what you
actually want
Why you want my body and
trash my heart?
Politely saying I want you
no strings attached would have saved me some humiliation 
It took me cursing you out for you to get the memo that
I was hurt
And even then you were a little
TOO LATE
I moved on and despite giving you my sex
I would have given you my heart
That’s what happens when a lioness
forgets to play her part
You took me when I was a baby cub, in a new environment and so
unsure of who i truly was
Thankfully I found my way
No thanks to you

A Word to My Ex Chronicles

Often creative ideas come to me in spurts of creative moments. I call it Jekyll Hyde Syndrome (JHS). It is a phrase I coined to mean, the state a creative person goes in where they write, paint, sing, draw, etc., incessantly for a project,  sometimes waking in the middle of the night with the idea on their mind until it has gotten completely out. This state can last anywhere from a few days to months.  My second novel, Conversations with the Heart, was the epitome of that phrase. I literally wrote an 80 page book in one month.  Every day I wrote something. I was writing on everything: school notes, lunch napkins, my arm, my phone, anywhere I could from sun up to sun down.  Several nights in a row, I would wake up in the middle of the night and type poems into my phone until it was all out.  That book is the best of me. I am sure I will write something better but so far it is the work I am most proud.  This small poetic series is a product of JHS as well. Starting tomorrow, I will be posting a “Word to my Ex” Chronicles  for 10 straight days, STARTING TOMORROW.  I hope you enjoy my crazed compilation. Let me know in the comments below as it progresses and feel free to share! @me on Insta @beautifullygrinding or Twitter @readmywerds