Category Archives: Blog

Long Distance Relationships & The Peace Corps

I met my soulmate before I left for the Peace Corps and, at the time, the thought of being anything more than casual associates was farfetched. Now, three months away from finishing my two-year service, we’re planning to get married.

Long distance relationships in the Peace Corps is possible, contrary to traditional belief, and I want to tell you how I make it work.

So, what keeps you over the distance for someone you barely know?

My boyfriend and I met six months before I was to leave my home country for Nicaragua for two years. He was the first man to express happiness and encouragement when I told him I joined the Peace Corps instead of acting like I was going to live on a different planet.

Like any other relationship, there had been issues between us and, with the distance, we really had to want to resolve them. Whenever there was a problem, we addressed it immediately instead of letting it fester. So we had to constantly ask ourselves if the relationship was worth it. You have to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Is it worth the cost?

I wasn’t always sure it was. We started as friends and, with time, we decided we wanted to be more serious. Once we became exclusive, our relationship became that much harder.

Sometimes, I had to choose work over talking to him.

Some days, the community lost power and there was no internet to call him.

Often times, I would be too tired to talk to him when I finished work for the day.

I had to be completely honest, admit when I messed up and give him assurance that even in my failure, my heart still wanted him.

But. It. Was. Worth. It.

Ask yourself, is he or she worth it?

A long distance relationship in the Peace Corps is not only possible but I think it is necessary.

Why? Because I am a better volunteer as a result of my relationship with my significant other. It has made our friendship even stronger.

It was an emotional journey. Yes, we did have fights. Jealousy did strike a few times and there were several nights when I chose him over sleep. Occasionally, my relationship weighed on my social life BUT through it all, progress was made.

He got to know me as I evolved and became a stronger volunteer and a better woman.

Now, we’re moving towards marriage and I only have a few months left of my service.

Here are a few key ways that I think help make a long distance relationship in the Peace Corps work:

  1. Want it. We wanted to be exclusive and I wanted him.
  2. Be transparent. Tell everyone you have a boyfriend. Hold yourself accountable. Being in close confines with other volunteers is tempting. These people understand exactly what you’re going through and will always get it, sometimes more than your significant other BUT remember number 1.
  3. Make time for your partner. Show him/her that no matter what, you’re willing to prioritize your relationship even though, at the moment, your job comes first.
  4. Be honest about your needs and don’t be intimidated by the distance. The hundreds or thousands of miles between you won’t matter so much if your hearts are close.
  5. Visit. My boyfriend visited me in Nicaragua and I visited him when I went home for Christmas.
  6. Make plans. Know that the distance can’t and shouldn’t be forever.
  7. Use technology. I don’t know what I would have done if I was in a country without Wi-Fi. For the first few months of my service, there wasn’t any Wi-Fi in the park or my house and it made talking a real effort, but thankfully that changed after a few months of integration.
  8. Be on the same page. We both love to travel. We both love art. He is a musician. I’m a writer. He’s in a fraternity. I’m in a sorority. We’re both black. Sure, there are differences between us, but one the most important things in life is that we’re always on the same page.
  9. Support each other. There were times when being so far away made me cry. There were times when I felt frustrated because I was going through something only a Peace Corps Volunteer could understand. There were times when he felt like I didn’t have enough time for him or he was worried because I was sick and far away. But we both stepped up in those feelings and supported each other through it.
  10. Pray. My boyfriend and I are Christians and praying is an important component of being together. We pray for each other every night and try to pray together. I have a devotional life on my own, but knowing that my boyfriend is praying for me and for us to be in God’s Will gives me even more peace knowing that we are doing this together. Whether you believe in God or not, it definitely takes something higher than yourself to sustain in a difficult situation.

It’s a common belief, theory and some say fact that 70% of volunteers find love in the Peace Corps. Whether with a local, a fellow volunteer or, like me, back home.

Was it easy?

No.

Did I miss him?

A whole bunch.

Was it worth it?

Heck. Yes. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. These two years have allowed me to fall in love with the best friend I didn’t know I needed and now we’re getting ready for marriage.

If you’re considering the Peace Corps and you have a significant other, don’t count the relationship out. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and you may find that distance makes the love grow deeper as well.

10 Accomplishments For Your 20s

I am in my mid 20’s and following a very non-traditional career path since I’m in the Peace Corps and living in Nicaragua. Watching my friend’s move on and build careers through distant social media has shown me a few things. Which is why I am writing this. Somehow, some way, we have been pressured to believe we have to have our entire life together by 21. I just want to encourage everyone struggling with debt, still living with their parents, unable to go to grad school and doesn’t have a spouse or children: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
I don’t know where we get this from but I felt it too. I have felt at one time or another that I was not enough. This feeling that I haven’t accomplished enough. I still have debt. I haven’t attended grad school and when I am home, I live with my parents. I am in my twenties and although I’ve accomplished way more than the average 20-year-old, I’m saying you’re normal if you haven’t accomplished anything at all. I am not saying don’t have aspirations. You need to have dreams. But you are not somehow less than for not accomplishing what others have in their 40s. Here is what you need to accomplish in your twenties.

1. Grow up.

We think we’re grown in college but after that, the real adulting begins. You need to mature and accept your fate. Yes, the time has come. That means paying all fees and tickets you receive. Unless you’re unemployed, it’s not ok to ask your parents for money all the time. Handle your business. No more late night parties and out of control drinking. Get to work on time. Dress appropriately and act like you want your job.  Be mindful of what you post on social media and for once take your parents advice.

2. Know and accept your responsibilities.

It’s your responsibility to know what is in your checking and savings account. It’s your responsibility to check weekly and not overdraft. It is your responsibility to prioritize the phone bill over the weekly unnecessary splurges (i.e., Starbucks, fast food, etc.). It’s your responsibility to prioritize and start thinking about other things like not related to drama.

3. Contribute.

If you live with your parents, wash some dishes, cook dinner every now and then. If you live with roommates, make an effort to get to know them. If you are good friends, talk about ways to help each other reach your dreams. Make a pact to collectively reduce debt or spend less for the month.

4. Make an effort.

 

Set small goals and strive to accomplish them. Build your resume. If you can’t find a job, volunteer somewhere for experience in your industry. Don’t just sit bitterly on the couch. Go out and visit the places you’re applying to, ask what specific skills they’re looking for. Introduce yourself and let them know you’re applying online. Show up to the interview in actual professional attire.

5. Ask for help.

 

Don’t beg but humble yourself enough to sit under someone else for wisdom. Take advantage of what the adults in your life have to offer. Whether it’s taking a job you don’t necessarily want or interning, ask for help. If you’re really behind on a bill, don’t be ashamed to ask for a small loan.

6. Love yourself.

 

Don’t be bitter towards all those being lovey-dovey pictures on social media. Understand that there is more to everybody’s relationship than what meets social media’s eye. Your special someone is out there waiting for you to become a person ready for a relationship. Instead of being jealous, build on yourself. Are you someone worth loving? Until you are, don’t worry about everybody else’s relationship. They might not be together in a year, but you will still have yourself in a year.

7. Social media is not life.

 

Do you post your burnt dinners, failed exams or boring days of work on social media? No. Neither does everyone else. Social media is everyone’s highlight reels. Don’t compare your down to someone’s publicised high. We’re all just trying to make a way for ourselves and have a better tomorrow. Focus on yourself and you’ll be amazed how much happier you’ll be.

8. Build.

 

Build your portfolio. Build your skill set and your network. It’s not always what you know. It’s also who you know. Go to meetups. Attend local events in your community. Ask your friends for suggestions, just get our of your comfort zone.

9. Make mistakes.

 

Travel. Splurge but remember to save. Learn a new language. Get lost and free yourself to make mistakes. It’s never a loss if it’s a lesson. Failure is life’s way of saying, maybe another time. “Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be” – John Wooden

10. Connect.

 

Make friends you want for a lifetime. Take time to love your family. They will not always be here and figure out what you really want from life. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t stress about your life in 10 years.

Don’t worry about what they say. Just accomplish these 10 things and you’ll do your 20s right.

Extended Hand to Any Rape Victim

To the woman who woke up and realized she had to be strong, I want you to know you are not alone. I cannot imagine how it felt to wake up and know something had been done to you but not knowing just quite the extent of the damage done. I can, however, with clear accuracy imagine how it feels to be raped and then misunderstood. I know what it’s like to be so spiritually broken because you cannot understand how physically you are still standing. I understand violation and I understand the monster that is rape culture. I just want to tell you I am so sorry this happened to you. I am so sorry that in this day and age, men are still being held at a lower standard than women. I am so sorry that you had to be belittled to numerical facts such as your weight, age and how much you drank. I am sorry that those things are even relevant to clearly judge what violation of a human being is. I am so sorry that you had to find out via the internet and that your life has been publicized for something so ugly but please know:

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Please know that we are here. We – the women silenced by the very same heinous act. The women who acknowledge what it feels to be broken and what it means to survive. The women who carry the shame every day and have to constantly remind themselves that it was not their fault. Please hear me, no matter what they say (they being the ignorant, misogynistic, unfeeling, uncaring, soulless trolls and inhumane beings on the internet): it is not, was not and will never be your fault. It wasn’t about what you wore. It wasn’t about what you drank. It was about this human being who took advantage of an unconscious woman and tried to get away with it. That is and will always be defined as rape.

That guy, he doesn’t even deserved to be spoken to by a goddess like you and yet you were strong enough to not only speak your truth but make sure the public clearly heard it too. I am proud of you and I stand with you. You stood strong for every girl, like me, who didn’t report, didn’t take a test or tell anyone outside of my family for fear of shame, stigma, and not being believed. You ended your letter by saying, “To girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought every day for you. So never stop fighting. I believe you.” Thank you. You are a testament to how much work still needs to be done. Your letter was beautiful and your heart is courageously golden. I am in awe of you and I hope you never have to feel such pain again. I pray every day forward from now is filled with pure joy. You deserve that. You deserve to dance. You deserve to be carefree and you deserve justice. I hope you get that too. They have labeled you a rape victim and I see how truly victorious you have become.

For anyone else reading this, please sign this petition. 6 months is a great way to continue telling women their bodies are worth nothing. If you know the strong young lady I am addressing, will you please pass on my letter and give her a hug. Don’t stare and don’t you dare ask her “so you really can’t remember?” No one should ever have to feel public humiliation bearing shame for something someone did to them. If you don’t understand consent, watch this video.

Photosource: http://www.goabroad.com/blog/2014/08/26/20-quotes-20-inspiring-women-around-world/

Bye 2015

I closed 2015 out with a bang! I decided, after a very uneventful Christmas in my site, that I would celebrate New Years Eve the way I wanted. Despite all my friends being in the States for the holidays, I traveled to visit a fellow volunteer in Jinotega.  My fellow volunteer has her parents visiting and they were so lovely to rent a room for me! We stayed in an amazing new hotel. It was a deceased former Vice President’s home. It had several old relics and was stunningly fancy. THERE WERE LIVE PEACOCKS IN THE BACK TERRACE! The all white one was so beautiful. I had hot water and wifi, I could not have been more blessed. We climbed to the famous cross. It was beautiful BUT crazy intense. 920 stairs later, I enjoyed an amazing view. Jinotega was FREEZING, no exaggeration I thought I was coming down with a cold. I was not prepared. Afterwards, not wanting to intrude and desperately in need of heat, I traveled to Leon. It is definitely one of the hotter departments of Nicaragua and it has a beach. I have always wanted to bring in my new years on a beach, so this year I did. Despite MAJOR setbacks, I found my way on an exclusive beach in a lodge in Leon with about 15 other travelers. Nicaraguans have a tradition to make a fake man and fill the cushion stuff with fireworks signifiying the burning of 2015. That was really cool on the beach. I said bye 2015 with style and brought in the New Year with the peaceful serenity of the sound of waves. I am most thankful for such an opportunity to see Nicaragua and experience new places. Last year, this time, I was working two jobs and desperately counting down to being a peace Corps volunteer. Now I am here and quickly coming up on my one-year mark! I hope you brought in the New Years well followers and most importantly remember to be thankful! Tomorrow isn’t promised today.

How to Live Longer

Everyone is obsessed with living longer. There is a fear of death as there is an obsession with diets, exercise and achieving certain life goals before a certain age. None of that really matters. There’s really only one way to live longer:

self-love
How do you do that?
Well, self- love is many things. Self-care, self-health, self-growth are good synonyms.
We must first define love. what is love to you? “Love is what you make and with whom you make it” – Love Jones quote. My Mom would say, “God is Love.” What do you believe? Once you know what it is to you, we can move forward in the loving.
You are three parts to equal one.

13662-Love-Your-Body1. Love Your Body

Consider all the things your body is doing right now. It is breathing, digesting, storing memories, circulating blood all without your active input.  It does so much for you, what can you do for it? I honor my body with yoga. I love my body by eating things to make it run faster and smoother. I honor my body but not ingesting harmful products. How can you honor yours?

love-you-mind2. Love Your Mind

Be conscious of your thoughts. Your thoughts become your beliefs and your beliefs become your actions. Thoughts are so powerful, as shown by the experiment by Dr. Maroto. Try writing down your thoughts for one day. Are they positive? Are they uplifting? Are they something you would be embarrassed to share? Write empowering things on flashcards and hide them in your room for you to find later. For example” You are Love. Or You are beautiful. It may seem dumb now, but telling yourself things like this matter. After all, a mind is indeed a terrible thing to waste.

51282673. Love Your Spirit

Where you’re religious or not. You have a spirit, an aura, or an energy. You can’t see it, but you can feel it. It is you. Without you, you would not be. How can you love your spirit? It could mean reading your bible once a day. This could be meditating. This could be being aware of your emotions and accepting how you feel is important. Sometimes we work too hard to suppress how we feel. You are allowed to feel. Listen to your internal GPS and go where it’s leading you.
It’s that simple. A lost mind, a broken spirit and unhealthy body will shave innumerable years off your life! Do yourself a favor and define love for yourself TODAY. No time like the present.

 

I’m Not Angry, My Face Is

I am a sufferer of RBF, or Resting B*&ch Face. 2015-10-11 09.53.50 Urban Dictionary defines it as, a person,
usually a girl, who naturally looks mean when her face is expressionless or relaxed, without meaning to.

 

Anyone who knows me, knows, I laugh at  literally the smallest things. They also know, so I’ve been told, that I have an amazing smile. (Shoutout to pops on the braces ones and twos.) Yet, as a result of not smiling like a psychotic clown all day, people tend to think I’m scary. Imagine that. 

Here lies 5 sad truths of a person suffering from RBF.

1. People think you’re mad. All the time.

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By-products of this are, people are afraid to approach you. People think you’re impolite even when you say, “please” or “thank you.” When you actually are angry or sad, people don’t care and think it’s nothing new. People assume you hate the world and are always having a bad day. No one believes you when you say, “I’m not mad.” When arguing a point, people often think it’s important to say, “calm down” or “don’t be mad.” I can tell you living in a VERY social culture, my scowl was a bit intimidating. But, having integrated, and constantly running into my little friends ( I am basically the Pipe Piper of Niños), I pretty much smile once every five to ten minutes.

2. You will end up apologizing, many times in your life… foryourface.

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By-products of this are being told to smile more often. Or as my momma would say, “fix your face.” My face is in no way a correct representative of what’s actually going on under my cranium and yet, I have to apologize for your assumption of it. This does actually occur. My teachers often ask me, “what’s wrong?” and, my favorite, “are you sick?” Nope, I’m not. This is just my face.

3. People think you’re judging them.

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Nope, I’m just listening. This is my listening face. I have yet to formulate any opinions. Also, as a result of this, people do not know when you’re joking, being sarcastic or serious. I have so often said, “I am not funny. I tell the truth and for some reason, people think I’m joking.” Thankfully, this doesn’t happen often because my minimal level of Spanish, often renders me speechless. I am often observing, everything here is so different and my face of neutrality is apparently normal for foreigners. 

4.  You have to channel your inner cheerleader if you really want to make a good impression.

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Do you know how hard it is to smile all DAY!? It’s hard. Your cheeks will start twitching. It’s also super exhausting to be someone you’re not. I have to practice my “thinker” face to make sure when I am merely listening I appear engaged and giving considerable thought to what you are saying. Even though I WAS ALREADY DOING THAT. My face won’t cooperate and you will get mad. I am so tired when I get home! I literally, lay in my room emotionless because my face has been stressed to the limit of actively working my brain to understand Spanish, convey the proper response in Spanish AND on my face. #aintnobodygottimefodat

5. You think I’m a female dog angry black woman… by default.

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It’s sad but true that women are held to higher standards than men. Men who scowl are perceived as mysterious, sexy, but even in jest, women are called names for the exact same thing. It’s seen as something that should be changed, not accepted. It demeans women as objects. They should always be pleasant to look at it. But the expectation is doubled, if not tripled being black. I am automatically categorized as an angry black woman, because RBF notions tend to feed into racial biases

‘And that perception can have profound—and often deadly—effects. According to a report about implicit bias research from the Kirwan Institute at the Ohio State University, a 2003 study found that whites with relatively high levels of implicit bias perceived black people to be more threatening than white people. What was the basis for such a perceived threat? The facial expressions of black people.

White faces with similar expressions weren’t attached to the same negative value judgments otherwise projected onto black people. As a result, the study highlighted, black people were incorrectly understood as angry, which created a rift in the formation of any kind of familial, working relationship—because black people get implicitly labeled as defiant or untrustworthy. ‘

I’m not being a witch. I’m not being bossy. I’m simply giving instructions and my face happens to be attached to the place where words come out. It’s hard to be authoritative at this height (5 foot nothing) while smiling. People barely take the fairy nymph serious so I can’t afford to show you teeth and lead. It’s a juicy contradiction. Here, because stare at me, just waiting for me to do something different. 9 times out of 10, they don’t understand me soooooo I’ve yet to be called bossy. They treat me as an exotic pet. I can practically hear them mentally thinking as I would at the animal behind the glass, “Do something!” 

Listen. My face, is my face. It’s kinda hard to change. As a matter of fact, in about 20 years, I’ll still be looking the exact same way, because smiling gives you wrinkles. Although, at any given time my face may convey annoyance, boredom, apathy or anger, chances are I am none of those things. I implore you to speak to the next person you see casually scowling. Engage them with a smile, smiles re contagious. I am not the first to acknowledge this is a major problem for women, but I am the first to acknowledge it for my viewpoint. RBF isn’t a choice, it’s my way of life. Embrace it. 

One Year Blogiversary

Hey there LoveBugs,

Today marks the faithful day I started my blog journey. Yup! Today is my blogiversary.

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Congrats are indeed, in order. On October 10th, as a result of the encouragement of my friends, faith of my parents and God-given talents, I start writing in a public forum. I have been writing since I could hold a pencil. At five years old, I distinctively remember telling my Mom I would publish a book one day. To date, I have self-published two books (click the hyperlink to check me out on Amazon) of poetry and am looking for a publisher for my upcoming Sci-Fi Romance trilogy.

I rarely every brag or talk about myself, BUT today, I’m going to give myself a pat on the back. It’s hard work  starting, doing, accomplishing your own thing. Since starting my blog, jwerd.com, I self-published, I experienced the loss of my grandmother, I ended a 3-year relationship, I have graduated with a BA in Entrepreneurship. I joined the Peace Corps and am serving in Nicaragua. I moved my website to a different hosting site. (Which believe me, made me lose several nights of sleep.)  I taught myself page analytics and other laborious abilities that have paid off to over 3,000 page views!

I would be nothing without you, dear readers. You are my heart. I am overjoyed my blog is read in over 83 countries worldwide. It does my heart good to know you value what I have to say. Keep sharing my works, keep liking, keep emailing/messaging me encouraging words. You guys are truly irreplaceable.

Now do me a big favor and hit that subscription button honey, this is only just the beginning of my writing dynasty.

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Tomorrow Doesn’t Exist

Where is tomorrow? Nowhere, it is the ever present ghost, a shadow of untapped potential. What would happen if you were 100% present?

Today. Right Now.

Too often we get caught up in planning, thinking two steps ahead, wanting to predict the changes of life and direct our life play, when in reality, no man knows the future. There is  only One who is omnipresent and He is God. I am guilty, so, so, so, so guilty of this. I get caught up in the doing of it and forget the experiencing of it. There is a fine line between “failing to plan is planning to fail” and “going with the flow.”

Life is like a canvas.  I am an artist and everyone’s life canvas is different. Maybe your life’s painting is watercolored, swirls of bright colors, blending together, intercepting each other without bias and subtly accepting every facet of life. Or yours is acrylic, clear in the view point, unapologetically firm in the idea with a full spectrum of colors, expressing darkness in contrast to the light. Some paintings of life mirror oil paints, slippery, wet, textured smears of multicolored abstract views. Whatever you see in your mind, it is the expectations of the future that hinders the true living of today. In the extreme, it is very unhealthy.  Surrender to today. Feel the connection you have to your world, your present, your fellow human beings. Accept your place in today and that you are where you are today, nothing can change that. Then love it. Love your brokenness, love your strength, love your resiliency because you are alive. Nobody but you has full credit for that. Nobody can take that away from you and the present only happens once. Appreciate this very second.
So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. (NLT) ( Matthew 6:34 )
051388e0dfa0727852664d1f874639b9e6f729-wm“At the very root of worry is fear. Fear of the unknowns or what if’s can erode away the security we find in God. Don’t let this fear overtake you and allow the worry to creep in your thoughts. Place your confidence in Jesus that He will provide and comfort you. Then pray.”
This was a daily devotions of mine some time ago from: http://jctrois.com
and it’s real pertinent to how I constantly feel here. One one hand, I’m like ‘ahhhhh I have so many ideas and things I want to do!’ on the other I’m like, ‘patience Grasshopper, you must only be awesome today.” This scripture helps me in remembering to make my service just that, my service. On my time, my scale and my journey. That idea is applicable to any and everything. Work on today. You are doing yourself a disservice focusing on tomorrow.

 

Reverse Racism…

So I didn’t want to talk about this. I tried very hard to ignore it, yet the topic has found me, multiple times, despite me being in Nicaragua. So I do what I must: educate the masses. Because that is what I am called to do. Living in my skin, is a journey I have all my own and I cannot expect anyone of another hue to understand unless I enlighten them.

Here’s to enlightenment.

Warning:

This blog post is about exposing widely accepted lies and unapologetically stated the writer’s opinion based on facts. Do not keep reading if you can’t handle the truth, don’t want to be wrong and/or are not ready for another way of thinking.

So let’s get into it. Firstly, the proper definition of racism:

racism
[rey-siz-uhm]
noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human racial groups determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to dominate others or that a particular racial group is inferior to the others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
Now keeping that in mind, let’s define prejudice:
prejudice
[prej-uh-dis]
noun
1. an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.
2. any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.
3. unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, especially of a hostile nature, regarding an ethnic, racial, social, or religious group.
 
Before I get into the why, here’s the bottom, irrefutable, unquestionable answer: rreverse racism does not exist.
 –
Now the why:
Racism is structural, not personal. If I have the luxury of being your boss, I can choose to hire an all black staff. If that decision was made intentionally to keep out other races, instead of providing blacks with opportunities they are so often denied, that does not make you victim of reverse racism. It makes me prejudice of people of a certain color. ‘Tis all.
 
1. People swear minorities take all this scholarship money and jobs from whites….
aka Affirmative action (an action or policy favoring those who tend to suffer from discrimination, especially in relation to employment or education)
but let’s check the stats.
White students receive more than three-quarters (76%) of all institutional merit-based scholarship and grant funding, even though they represent less than two-thirds (62%) of the student population, according to the report published by Mark Kantrowitz, the financial aid guru behind Fastweb.com and FinAid.org.*
 –
It’s just an untrue idea that continues to be perpetuated.
And although it might seem to play in minorities favor, it actually helps more white women than the others. See this TIME article for more info on that.
 –
2. Having things “black” things does not take away from white things
I.e., Black Girls Rock, Black History Month, BET, Black-ish, etc.
I want you to think briefly on what you see on any tv channel, just flick through any channel. White faces. What does every President except the current one have in common? White faces. Who writes the history books that every school must read? White people. White people have pretty much have it all.. minorities of all descendants have to fight for the very basic things we have.
So nope, not reverse racism, just a little fish trying to make it in a big pond. Attempts to rectify systemic oppression does not mean reverse racism, it means there should be and we are fighting for true equality in all facets of life. Never noticing that you are NOT in the room means you are ALWAYS in the room, which is a benefit we do not have. So I say bravo to those pioneering more black shows, more black channels, more black models, more black products, because there is just not enough out there for us, by us.
 –
3. Systemic Oppression
You just can’t change history honey and we, everyone in the world, are bound by history. I believe the phrase goes something like, “those who forget the past, are bound to repeat it.” So let’s peruse our sad history:
  • Slavery
  • Jim Crow Laws
  • Racial Disparity in Jailing
  • Unemployment rates by race
  • Media Portrayal of different races

Just to name a few. As a black woman there is nothing I can do to change my skin or my hair to fit in. I can change my name, because studies have shown that you’re less likely to get hired having an “ethnic name.” I will not be paid the same as you and I can forget being promoted at the same rate.  I can do everything in my power to be the exact opposite of stereotypes because the black actress doesn’t have to be angry. The latina woman doesn’t have to be a maid or speak broken English and the asian male does not have to be a brainiac. The system was not built in my favor. Acknowledging that  AND how you benefit from it, does not make you racist, it makes you a realist.

All in all , if you didn’t get all that, it’s described quite clearly in a scene from 2013’s “Dear White People” that is applicable to all minorities.

tessa thompson animated GIF
tessa thompson animated GIF
tessa thompson animated GIF
and that’s all folks. *drops mic*