A Word to My Ex Chronicles

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Today is the day! The start of a Word to My Ex Chronicles. Let’s get right to it. Let me know if this speaks to you in the comments below. PS. This is series is not a man bashing session. This is me sharing my heart and experiences. I have experienced heartbreak but I have experienced love too.

A Word to My Ex Chronicles
I would never give myself the 
satisfaction of fully articulating how deeply you hurt me 
for fear you will feel 
exactly how bad you made me feel
l don’t want to hurt you back
I never
wanted to hurt you
I’ve always wanted to 
love you 
I always wanted to be
yours
I always wanted to be
your girl
and I never took consideration of anything else
delusion made me see past
her
fantasy made me see a space for me
when there was none
and your daughter was just a bow on our present
there was nothing
anointed by God
I took Him in 
my life and placed Him in ours
Maybe if I had listened He wouldn’t have
forced me to learn such a lesson as this
I cannot force my puzzle piece where it does not belong
maybe you were supposed to 
hurt me
maybe cutting me down to nothing was
worth it
because I will definitely
never do anything like you again
the memories
run through my mind,
a kaleidoscope of
hope, heartbreak and exasperation
realizing how
happy you made me 
only to turn around a
reject me publicly
no one should live in
extremes
I
was never meant to be a side
I was
never comfortable with it 
wanting to stop the hurt but being unable to stop the love for you was my only fault
running as fast as i could away from you only to 
snap back like a rubber band rebounding on you harder than before 
until I
broke the cord
unhooked myself
from you and gave it to God


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