Monthly Archives: January 2015

Game For Marriage Book Review

Game For Marriage was a good read! I read it in a few hours (although that’s not solely a good indicator of good writing, it merely means I was curious enough to see it through until the end.) Had me like 
If this movie was a movie it would be on Netflix and I wouldn’t watch it unless I had absolutely nothing else to do but cuddle with my boo. It was a certified chick flick on paper. Struggling artist, Sheridan is just a regular girl trying to make it in a big world. She had no intentions of falling for NFL player Jared and yet she did. (Don’t worry girl we all make dumb decisions for a hot bod.). Somehow they forge a fake marriage to improve his image that blurs the lines between real and fake. Thankfully and predictably, it has a happy ending. It was a good read. It was my first time reading Karen Ericksons’s writing and I enjoyed. She has a way of  explicitly describing sex scenes without being too vulgar or overzealous. It was tastefully visual and essential to the story plot. I hate when characters do the nasty just because in a book. Its a lazy cop out some famous writer who shall not be named took but won a movie deal out of their several shades of written trash… I digress. 4.5 stars, I can’t decide if I would actually admit to reading this to my friends to say they should read it. It was good and I would reread it when I had time and wanted a guaranteed good story. It certainly made my heart feel light when Jared and Sheridan lived happily ever after. Check it out. (PS I GOT THIS BOOK FOR TOTALLY FREE AND NO BOOK IS AS GOOD AS A FREE BOOK YOU KNOW SOUNDS INTERESTING! YOU HEARD ME!? ) onto my next reader conquest!

No Greek Section

I am going to reiterate my disclaimer that can be found on my homepage before going into my blog post today! 
Disclaimer: The content of is the sole ownership of Janae Werdlow and copyrighted unless stated otherwise by me. No reproduction of any of the content shall be used without prior written consent. If you want to quote me or repost one of my blogs, please send an email requesting permission to do so first. The proper credit link must state the following: Originally written at The content on this blog is the opinion of myself, not intended to “malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual.” My sincerest intention is to educate, inform, humor but mostly inspire you with my words. Comments on this website are the sole responsibility of their writers and if they are offensive in any way they will be removed. Try not to be in your feelings about that, should you find your comments removed. I am not affiliated with anyone unless I say otherwise. Lastly, don’t be so stuffy. If you’re here I want you to enjoy the experience: undo your tie, sit back, relax, laugh a little. You’re here to have a good time. So PLEASE DO! No negative Nancy’s! Afterall… it is a Werd Party. 
Saints, I am here today to inform you of a very well known fact. I know, I know. Where you’re from saying, “I am a (fill in the black with a NPHC D 9 Organization) means something. But I am here to tell you:  You gone get to heaven gates and say, “Imma member of the Divine 9. I know I got a VIP section” and Jesus is going to look down from His Shining Glory and say “Nah”. You,super greeks, need to SADDOWN. I know, I know. We all go through the neo phase (to my none-greeks that means the first one, no more than two years, you get into your significant organization). With that being said, the only people who care THAT much about letters have letters of their own. Even then, if your letters aren’t the replica of theirs, there will be a significant lack of enthusiasm. While I love my AKA and community service for ALL mankind is a strong belief I have, I am well aware there is life outside of pink and green. Since it can’t pay my bills or yours, I suggest keeping the love for it in your heart and relaxing just a smidge. Especially if you’re no longer an undergraduate student. Remember that you make the letters. The letters don’t make you!. God bless you. Announcement over. See you at the next Greek function. 

Dance For Me Book Review

Dance for Me by Helena Newbury needs to be a movie! (only if they stay true to all the book facts though!) This book was hauntingly complex. Two people, Natasha, a prestigious ballet dancer whose passion stems from a crazed obsession and Darrell, an engineer married to his work by force, not choice.  Both are terrorized by their past, stuck living unfulfilled and without hope. By fate, they meet each other and fall instantly in love. Then they are forced to decide what they want more, the convenience of hidden secrets and hurt or the possibilities of freedom in love. I liked this book because Helena dissected their individual pain to the roots. She properly built the story. One thing led to another that led to another to the person that is a pained character. It was real life. We aren’t suddenly the people we are, we become that person built from all the little life experiences we’ve had up until that point. That was amazing. It was just enough suspense and tell. It wasn’t predictable. I also liked that Darrell and Natasha related so closely in their situations but because they were both too afraid of their secrets they almost lost a good thing. I think that is real life as well. If we were more open about the things that hurt us we would have more opportunities to love and heal. I think especially in the black community we have become too accustomed to dark secrets, and burdens to carry when no one asked us to bare them. I was clutching the book and side eyeing anyone who dared distract me from it!
For two and a half hours it was my precious! I so so so so recommend this book. Check it out. It wasn’t cheesy. It was raw. It was real. It was made up and relatable. There are a few places in the book that I have a hard time believing BUT it”s fiction. Deal reader! Deal! 5 stars. It could have a seat in my future home library. 

Life Themes

A few years ago, I started setting year themes instead of year resolutions. I find that it works better for me, as I am prone to forgetting resolutions even when I write them down and has more consistency throughout whatever ups and downs I may have. Since I have started it’s been:
2012 – Embrace Yours Fears
I noticed I started being more hesitant in making decisions. I am generally a very spontaneous and bold person. I have no problem stepping up to do things I have never done before or speak when I am not sure what I should say. Yet somehow with 2011 closing, I had begun over thinking to the point of being nonresponsive. I would think so hard before I leaped that I ended up never leaping. So I starting recklessly running towards my fears. If it frightened me even the slightest I did it to break the behavioral norm I had developed. Thank God I did. 2012 was full of wonderful new experiences and friendships. 

2013 – Be Strong
This was the year I felt like I was drowning.  Every day was a struggle to keep my head above water. I was two seconds from leaving my dream school because I couldn’t afford it. Two years, two loans and my parents retirement down the drain. I was staring into a dark tunnel of indecisiveness. I wasn’t sure where to go, what credits I was sure would transfer. I couldn’t see me leaving my friends.  My boyfriend at the time was deployed in Afghanistan and I found myself alone. I had recently crossed into my sorority and had to pay dues. I was working three jobs. I am an overachiever and couldn’t fathom the idea of having any C’s, so any free moment I was studying and doing homework. Often customers would find me reading and studying flash cards at the register any of my jobs. On top of all that I had to be apart of  The Entrepreneurship Club for my major. Whenever I tried to even think about everything I had to do I almost broke into hives. Every person that saw me, asked my schedule or knew my schedule literally said, “how are you doing ALL that?” I would jokingly say, “I’m wonderwoman.” But inside I was asking myself the same questions! I knew something had to give but I couldn’t see what could. Secretly, I was having health issues only my mother knew about. Literally, it was only by God’s grace I made it to 2014.

2014 – Live Free
I finally made it to senior year. I was going to graduate ON TIME! Money came out of nowhere. Strength came out of nowhere. I was so close to the finish line. I bought my senior essentials. I got the grades I needed but I could not deny I wasn’t talking to my family as much as I usually do. My boyfriend and I painfully, decided to just be friends.  A week later, to my deepest regret, my granny passed away. Although it was her time, I wasn’t able to see her or speak to her. I felt like I had hit an all time low. I became depressed because no one wanted to interrupt my studies to tell me she was sick.  Because I felt I deserved to know.  Because I would have stopped what I was doing to see her. Because life goes on and all I wanted was the chance to say goodbye. I had never experienced depression before and I did not know how to fight it. Thankfully, my sisters and friends helped me. I got my first ever D on my transcript that semester, although my teachers were very understanding! I had burdens to let go. And I made sure I dropped every bag of regret, depression, negativity as the year came to a close. I self-published my first book, Surviving: Teenage Battlewounds, graduated and walked with almost all my family to witness. I got my acceptance letter into my dream job, the Peace Corps. I self-published a second book, my best work yet, Conversations with the Heart, committed to writing a blog (thanks for reading) and hit ten thousand views today (a little over three months of starting it.) I started modeling and most importantly living more free. Making decisions for me and not for others. 

As you can see they kind of built on each other without me even knowing that’s what I was doing or would need. God is funny like that.  Life just keeps going and you realize you were being prepared your entire life for one moment or another. Now almost a month into 2015, I know what this year’s theme will be. It’s Operation: Faith because now more than ever I need to strengthened my ability to trust in the Lord. I have 33 days until March 3rd, my ship out date to Nicaragua. I am full of nervous excitement. I know this is where I need to be and I can’t wait to see what God does in my life. Yesterday I attended a friend’s church in Atlanta (thank God for my Atlanta sorors) and the pastor said, “If God sent you, He has a responsibility to foot the bill.” He basically said to trust God that I am where He has for me to be and no matter what I will be taken care of. I truly believe that the prayers of the righteous are NEVER forsaken. I have no idea what’s in store for me but I can’t wait! I can’t wait for the life lessons, experiences and most importantly for God to show up and out. Operation: Faith is the time for me to learn how to confidently expect things from the Lord. How can I expect Him to take me places I’ve never been if I don’t pack my bags, right? God bless you and I hope you keep the New Year Resolutions you made.

Updated: Grievances

I have done everything I was asked to do as a customer and yet it is never enough… Not with Greyhound that is.  As you know I traveled on literal hell and high water to get to my first destination and seemingly I am going back with all my hair standing on my head! If you don’t know check my previous post. So today I called Greyhound’s customer service line TWICE (the fact that I dealt with them automated voices ONCE was a doozy already! nobody likes them calls) and not once did they tell me my bus was cancelled. I checked online and my bus was not listed as one of the cancelled trips due to the snowstorm so imagine my surprise when AFTER my friend drops me off/drives away and my bags were checked in the bus driver tells me she will not be taking me anywhere and here it is my favorite line from them.. wait for it.. “my bus is cancelled.”

If you read my first litany of grievances, you know I was confused AND I STILL CAN’T REALLY PROCESS how a bus gets cancelled. Nonetheless, this time I am somewhat grateful as Greyhound has a history of flipping buses over. Add a blizzard in this mess of terrible business management and I’m asking for some kind of freak accident.  I know God reigns in everything so I am believing I am missing something very dangerous by staying where I am right now. I can be thankful and a little frustrated at the same time. Greyhound beware, someone more crazy than me is going to end up doing more than blog posting about your absolutely positively FAILURE OF A BUSINESS MODEL. It is my humble, entrepreneurial degree having opinion that your business is not sustainable at this level of customer satisfaction. Jwerd Out. 

Have you experience Greyhound woes? Am I alone in my sentiments? let me know in the comments below. 

Grievances… Greyhound

Let me air some grievances. It is not often that I say to myself I will not do something and then do it. Usually I put my foot down with myself but in desperate times, desperate measures have to be taken. I like to travel, it’s in my blood honest as both my parents were in the military. When I travel I want what the average travel wants, moderate comfortability, open communication from the people taking me to my destination and basic needs (clean air, clean facilities, etc.) Well if there is for certain a place where none of that will happen it’s GREYHOUND! The last two times I traveled using the Greyhound Bus it was either dirty, stinking to high heaven of cigarette smoking and no outlets worked in the entire bus (2 outlets per seating couple and I asked around, not a one worked). This additionally to the fact that I had to wait in a small gas station for 2 hours because the bus was late. Of course there shouldn’t be seating. It’s not an actual station, excuse me for thinking it would be. By the time I got to my final destination my hair was sticking up on my head. Anyone who knows me knows that I am slightly OCD about clean, dirt really freaks me out. I don’t mind my dirt in limited quantities but your dirt is a no. I felt like screaming and crying at the SAME DANG TIME! I felt filthy, I did not feel like I got my money’s worth and so I made the small sticky note in my mental not to take the Greyhound again. When you know better, you do better. 
Well, less than two months later I have to find transportation again! Outside of driving my lovely hooptie, I had to find a way to these states, working around the schedules of those who would be picking me up. To my surprise, I was at a crossroads, either take the Greyhound and pay double for Amtrak. My pockets have been screaming Bloody Mary since December because Sallie Mae has been taking no prisoners and playing no games. Soooooooo I crossed my heart and hoped I didn’t die and bought another Greyhound ticket.

*Pause* Let’s just pause for clarity here. I bought my Greyhound ticket a month before my trip. I paid them in full and received my confirmation number. As a customer I have done all that I can!

*Play* On my faithful morning I wake up at 6 am and get to the station early as my bus was set to leave at 725 am. I notice that hardly any one is in the station. Literally it’s me and two other people (not including the workers of course.) But I am paying these small details no mind as I am very much in a hurry to check my bag, get settled say goodbye to my family and get to my final destination. I come to the desk and give the guy my confirmation number to which he says, “there is no bus 1050.” Now obviously he is talking to hisself because I don’t know bus numbers. So I patiently wait as his fingers continue strumming the keys. I have no worries as I saw a bus outside on my way in. He then repeats himself.”There is no bus 1050.” This is when two people from the back come and stare with him at this one computer. Now he looks up at me, in my eyes and says, “your bus was cancelled.” Now I want you to think about what you would interpret that to mean. What would you think if someone said ‘a bus was cancelled.’ “What do you mean it was cancelled? You can’t cancel a bus.” “They changed schedules. That bus isn’t coming anymore.” The woman to his right looks at a piece of paper and says, “they changed that schedule two days ago.” Now I am looking at them both like someone slapped me in the face. Here is a brief synopsis of my thoughts, “what do you mean the bus is cancelled? you can’t cancel a bus. How do you cancel a bus? why wasn’t I notified? Who is going to get me to Atlanta? They couldn’t have cancelled my bus, I saw one outside.” This is all flashing through on a repeated loop on my mind. The man says, “you need to call customer service and cancel your ticket. Since you bought it online it wont let us give you a new one.” I am still looking like someone slapped me. I call, the customer service man is of absolutely no help to me or the workers! That much I could tell. They figured it out ON THEIR OWN after AN HOUR of poking around on various computers. The lady says to me, “the next bus leaves @955, you just missed the other one. It left at 655.” I try calmly to mind my manners, and thank them for the small repentance in my extreme inconvenience. Instead of arriving at 6:30pm, I will “supposedly” be arriving at 10:30pm. 

I go home, take a brief nap, eat a little knowing that my entire day will be wasted on a bus! I reenter the Greyhound and get in line. The bus arrives on time, I walk to give the man my bag. I know I can give him my back because I checked it right after all the foolishness earlier so I wouldn’t have any more problems. He glances at it and grabs a tag and says this where you currently are, not where you’re going. You need another tag” So I have to step out of line, go back to the desk and look at the men crazy who just hours before insisted they would take care of it. The man behind the desk says, “your tag is right there. that’s a different tag, not a Greyhound tag. The guy out there didn’t even look for it.” It’s bad when other people note your incompetence. I walk back out, point the correct tag out to the man and board the bus as one of the last passengers. As expected it was full but there was a blessing in the midst of such mayhem.. The front handicap seats were empty. So I sat there, placed my bag in the other seat and went straight to sleep. Thankful for this one good thing. 

We drive for 3 hours only to get what is about 2 hours from my original destination. The driver spouts details and locations to help you know whether you need to get off or stay. I get off and he provides no further information as to when or where the next bus will be. He walks around to four different doors pulling off bags and I finally get mine. From my ticket I gather my next bus will be leaving at 140 but that’s all I know. I wait in a very long and slow moving greyhound information line. WASTE 20 MINUTES only for the man to tell me exactly what I already knew. A bus will be coming at 140 and it will be in 3 different possible spots. Now I am frustrated and hungry, my morning wasn’t exactly filled with food. I look around to find there are only drink vending machines. I walk a block and see no possible food places except on hot dog stand. I asked the man at another information desk and he gave me vague instructions to a deli. With time ticking I had to succumb to the hot dog stand where the lady only had $4 in change and had to give me my $.25 back in nickels. Thankfully a man agreed to watch my bags so I could run around like a chicken with my head cut off scavenging for food. The air reeked of cigarette smoke and as a girl with asthma I find that highly problematic. I see two buses pull up so I rush back and get in the line I hear the announcer announce. ONLY to have that bus driver tell me to go get in the other bus line. Both buses are going to the same destination. -__- my face. 

I get to the other bus line. It is very crowded and the bus driver is not nice. He tells us too load our own bags and hands me a reboarding pass which means (you guessed it (ANOTHER FREAKING STOP). I have a headache and am trying not scream. I ask a woman to let me sit beside her and thankfully she doesn’t smell. Not long after we board she is snoring loudly in my ear.  ** Since I was not notified on my bus changed I did not know where I was getting dropped off. I asked the bus driver and instead of using one word to say downtown he says, “I am not allowed to talk while driving” TWICE! -___________________________________________-

There is no earthly reason a company should handle business this way!

From this point on I will only and always choose Megabus as the bus for my transportation needs. They have proven orderly, timely and most importantly cost efficient. It is my EXTREME suggestion that you do the same. There are many more reasons not listed why you should travel Megabus. It’s only fault is that it only goes to certain major cities. If you love yourself, care at all for your loved ones DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT spend money or time on Greyhound. One brief google search of “I hate Greyhound” will show that i am not at all alone in these strong sentiments. Between the tweets and other blog posts one thing is very much clear, it’s time to put that dog down (in the most humane way, of course). 

-Sorry it was so long guys. I am really sorry. 

**Note: I am writing this while on the Godforsaken Greyhound bus!*

Four Review

I can honestly say I read this one like a woman in the desert craving water.  I was turning each page faster than the last, hoping and praying for some peace that was left in shambles at the last book in the series. 
It was the shortest of the series and the most necessary. Although my heart was not completely glued back together, I left with a greater peace than I had at the end of Allegiant. I could not stress how important it is that you read this book if you read the Divergent series. This is a 4/5 book because i definitely recommend it! i learned more about the love Tris and Four had.  We also get to see several key scenes of the first few books from his point of view.  I wished there was more written, i wish the ending wasn’t what is was but most importantly for once, I wish happily evers came true but unfortunately that is not always the case.  Happy reading readers.  Let me know what you think if you’ve read it in the comments below don’t forget to subscribe!

Jwerd Feature

Hey guys! You already know I don’t believe in coincidences. A reader emailed me some encouragements (I love when people giving me their honest feedback on my blog or posts, even if it’s negative) and from there we begun to talk about other topics. All in all, God is good because I found out this reader just started a yoga podcast! Ironic right!? So of course I offered to be his first feature, apparently flattery gets you everywhere (lol). So here’s the link to it. Check it out and tell him I sent you! I support anyone trying to promote health in the black community and yoga! You can listen here or here

God’s Garden

You are a farmer, whether you have a green thumb or not. You sow seeds daily. Its bigger than karma though. If you sow seeds of happiness, happiness will grow like a weed in your life. If you put seeds of positivity all around you there will be no room for negativity to grow. You should be mindful of the seeds you collect as well. I have no interest in envy, malice or hate, so I don’t let others plant those seeds in my garden.
I say the same to you. Be mindful of what people plant in your life and most importantly be mindful of what you plant in God’s Garden.  There are rewards for those who sow to the Kingdom of God. I encourage you in that. 
Matthew 16:27
“For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS.

Light Girls

I just finished watching Light Girls, a documentary directed by Bill Duke. It was the much needed sequel to Dark Girls which aired on Own Network in 2011. Both documentaries explored the confusing, prominent and unspoken idiosyncrasies of colorism in the black community.  It features several women, celebrities, actresses, doctors and strangers who account their experiences as a light complexioned woman and their feelings on the negative feelings they received from darker complexioned women.  I loved that it wasn’t portrayed as just an American thing.  It touched on colorism on every continent.  It discussed colorism’s effects in the beauty industry, relationships, the church and more.  Most importantly, it discussed the solutions and how-tos of healing between women of all hues.

I thoroughly enjoyed both films! I remembered watching Dark Girls years ago and my heart breaking at the testimonies.  Being a woman of brown skinned complexion, I have experiences from both spectrums of hue.  In the summertime, I play outdoors religiously and became very dark and have been treated as a dark girl. In the winter, I can become very light and have negative stigmas put on me, such as the all too common, “she’s thinks she’s all that.”  So I related immensely to the stories told in Light Girls AND Dark Girls.  When I finished Dark Girls, I remembered feeling a hollow pit in my stomach because I wanted desperately to help other women see each other the way I see them. I am blessed to have grown up in an environment that did not perpetuate such stereotypes or beliefs  based on complexion. I saw all colors as beautiful.  I was always encouraged by my family to think differently from others and so I was, as you could guess, bullied for that.  Still my confidence in myself never waned as a result of my standards or beauty. How I related to myself and other women as beautiful was taught to me in a parallel way, not perpendicular.  How I see myself, (beautiful or not), does not have a direct relationship to how I see you (beautiful or not).  The ideas were similar; however, if you were like my grandmother, I thought you were beautiful, but my grandmother is more than just her skin color.  

I know this was a taught behavior because my grandmother who told me when I was very little that I did not like white people.  Knowing who I am now, that seems so farfetched. She told several stories of my outright prejudice regarding my aunt, who is white and married to my uncle, who is black.  Instances where I would say “good morning” to them both but only look at my uncle.  I would thank my uncle for gifts that my aunt specifically bought me.  Having  practiced such behaviors, my parents taught me up to love and honor people for who they are and by their character.  They worked hard to uproot whatever biases I had learned through media and other exposures.  You can look into my relationship history and see I have loved people of every hue.  I have no “type.” I have loved and dated men who were small, large, short, tall, very very dark to very very light.  You can see I have friends of all different hues as well.  It is my hope in sharing this film with you that you’re able to say the same about the people around you. 

You can watch Light Girls for free here and Dark Girls here.  It is my STRONG RECOMMENDATION  no matter what “team” you affiliate with that you watch both! The entire community is hurting as a result of categorizations. I sincerely hope that when I have children #teamlightskinned and #teamdarkskinned are a thing of the past.  Seeing color isn’t the issue.  Seeing color and attributing assumptions are.  My people are so beautiful, varying in so many shades, features and sizes.  Our differences and refusal to fit in one box is the resilience that has allowed us to stand the test of time from royalty, to slavery, to assimilation and self discovery.  May both films open your eyes to a greater and more loving you.  God bless you readers and I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the films!