Monthly Archives: October 2014

A Word to My Ex Chronicles

Ya’ll know what to do. Read it. Love it. Comment.
A Word to My Ex Chronicles
Please don’t get me the satisfaction of
convincing me when you care
not mince words,
not be two ships passing in the night 
Let’s save
the fights
I r
efuse the back and forth via TEXT
allude to chilling and Netflix
Just say you what you
actually want
Why you want my body and
trash my heart?
Politely saying I want you
no strings attached would have saved me some humiliation 
It took me cursing you out for you to get the memo that
I was hurt
And even then you were a little
I moved on and despite giving you my sex
I would have given you my heart
That’s what happens when a lioness
forgets to play her part
You took me when I was a baby cub, in a new environment and so
unsure of who i truly was
Thankfully I found my way
No thanks to you

A Word to My Ex Chronicles

Often creative ideas come to me in spurts of creative moments. I call it Jekyll Hyde Syndrome (JHS). It is a phrase I coined to mean, the state a creative person goes in where they write, paint, sing, draw, etc., incessantly for a project,  sometimes waking in the middle of the night with the idea on their mind until it has gotten completely out. This state can last anywhere from a few days to months.  My second novel, Conversations with the Heart, was the epitome of that phrase. I literally wrote an 80 page book in one month.  Every day I wrote something. I was writing on everything: school notes, lunch napkins, my arm, my phone, anywhere I could from sun up to sun down.  Several nights in a row, I would wake up in the middle of the night and type poems into my phone until it was all out.  That book is the best of me. I am sure I will write something better but so far it is the work I am most proud.  This small poetic series is a product of JHS as well. Starting tomorrow, I will be posting a “Word to my Ex” Chronicles  for 10 straight days, STARTING TOMORROW.  I hope you enjoy my crazed compilation. Let me know in the comments below as it progresses and feel free to share! @me on Insta @beautifullygrinding or Twitter @readmywerds

Conversations with the Heart

I am a writer. I published my first novel called, Surviving Teenage Battlewounds, in April 2014. Most people know that, but what you may not know is I am publishing my second book. I am simply ecstatic about it. It’s called Conversations with the Heart.  It is exactly that.  A conversation I had with myself and I hope it encourages you to have a conversation with yourself. I will be posting previews on my instagram, twitter and below. I hope you enjoy and if you do I hope you preorder it. 
Here are the first four pages of my book:

Dear Heart,

We have to talk
It’s been a long time since I’ve acknowledged you and I’m sorry 
I thought if I used you less, I wouldn’t hurt anymore 
I thought if I forgot you, you’d go away. 
But I need you to live… To love.
You’re still there
Even though I’m scared to fall 
In the back of my mind I still want to
To love. Some day.


Dear Heart,

You give of yourself too freely.
You don’t have a proper valuation of yourself
You are beautiful
You are powerful
You are God’s gift to the world
There’s nothing with proclaiming that
If it were not so you would not have been born
Children are gifts from God
That does not change because you have grown up
You are validated
By me.
By God
You don’t need it from anyone else

Dear Heart,

Why won’t you listen?
Obviously my head is the thinker here. 

It has the brains. 
You’re just a dreamer. 
My mind said, “no.” 
My mind said, “Don’t listen.” 
My mind said, “it’s not worth it.” 
But here you are making feelings AGAIN
I can’t live like this. 
Emotional hopscotch is no fun to play. 
Don’t put me in the game unless you know for sure the guy is in the game!
I don’t like when I go all around the board, just to go back to jail again


Dear Heart,

Nothing beautiful ASKS for attention
It is given
And I will honor your beauty 
By waiting
Waiting to be seen
Waiting to be cherished
Waiting to be loved
Because you are entirely too beautiful to BEG for attention
I am, in fact, too proud to beg

50 Shades Darker Review

I was right. Only two chapters to become a fool. 

This is me the entire time! GAH! What mockery of life is this?! EL James is trying to bamboozle us all. There is no way I’m going to accept a man showing extreme signs of stalking, jealousy and abuse because he’s rich. THEE ONLY REASON this is plausible in some fashion is because I remember how I was with the guy I lost my virginity to. You do sorta get this puppy-dog-follow-you-around and you-can-do-no-wrong mentally. Still! I’m over all this crazy sex everywhere. You know what? I can’t be mad because I knew going in this was the basis for this book’s appeal. STILL I be so mad reading. Like in five days all that happened? Really Christian?! Really Ana. No wonder she need time to breathe. I was outta breath just reading. I would have ran for the hills A LONG TIME AGO. Still their relationship is hectic and trashy and interesting. Congrats to the messed up couple who in some strange way are more alike than they realize and who deserve each other. The end was unexpected and finally about more than their relationship! Five points to Gryffindor for a plot twist. 4 out 5 points for making me read on! Negative one because I won’t ever read this again. Once was enough, I’m sure.

50 Shades of Grey Review

I hate it when I’m wrong. Nonetheless, I have to admit that I see the appeal to this book. I will not relent that it is absolute trash. And like all trash (re: Housewives of anywhere, Hit the Floor, etc.) it is addictive. I have no doubt it will do record numbers at the box office because it has a global reach and targets multiple age groups. So let’s get into it.
Firstly, I have some major concerns AND I HAS QUESTIONS! 
Where is Ana from? This girl is forever saying some questionable things, ‘satchel’, ‘dearest dearest friend’ referring to herself in third person by last name ‘Get it together Steele’ and worst of all ‘I felt it deep in my belly down there’. GIRL DO YOU MEAN YOUR VAGINA!? I was filled with a lot of “I can’t” moments throughout this book. I can’t with the unrealistic way Ana and Christian relationship built super fast. No way in a matter of 3 weeks I’m going to become someones sex slave. I can’t with how jacked up this boy is, his past, his poor poor inner child. I can’t with how instantly upon losing her vcard (with no pain might I add *cue major side eye*) she was a sexual goddess. 
Sadly, I must admit the characters have depth and there is a plot. I dub it 4 out of 5 stars. It begrudges me but I must me honest. I’m not feeling the idea it gives young ladies about sex or BDSM BBBBBUUUUUTTTTT

Nonetheless, I briefly thought about reading the sequel. One because of the plot. I skim over the seck scenes because I don’t care. However, I do care to know how stupid Ana is and when does her stupidity emerge. One chapter into the sequel or five? I don’t give it more than five. I also want to know when Christian is going to fire Dr. Flynn cuz the man needs more help than what that doctor is givin!

So tell me your thoughts? If you’ve read it, you digging the kinkiness or nah? Will you give it a read if you haven’t? Let me know down below. *In my Joe voice* 😩🎤 I wanna know…


Intro to 50 Shades

So, as much as I kicked and screamed the people have spoken. 50 Shades of Grey will be my next read. I will do my best to not read it as the 50 Shades of Trash I know it is. I have heard from many a reliable source that this book was terribly written in the worst way. AND YET HERE I AM!
I am expecting the holy grail of facepalms as I read. Maybe that will make it a little better for me. You know? Having low expectations makes it that much easier to exceed them. Fingers crossed ya’ll.